


since i've been walkin' solo (dreamin' you were back home)

by ohsalamanders



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: (kind of?), Episode: s02e15 Tales of Ba Sing Se, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, also fyi jin and mai are only mentioned here, and i'm getting tired of y'all saying it was one sided, and that's on that, idk what to call it tbh, listen i just love maiko, right after his date with jin, they aren't actually there, this is a little introspection on zuko, zuko loves mai back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:07:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28575753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohsalamanders/pseuds/ohsalamanders
Summary: Zuko just went on a date with Jin.But he can't help but think of another certain someone.
Relationships: Jin & Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 56





	since i've been walkin' solo (dreamin' you were back home)

**Author's Note:**

> wow two fics in one week? i'm on a roll y'all.

Zuko wasn’t lying when he told his uncle he had a good time. 

He did, really. Jin was a nice girl — pretty too. The evening went surprisingly well, considering his lousy relationship with luck. Dinner was awkward — truth be told, Zuko wasn't the most socially competent, nor was he a good liar (it was a miracle she hadn't figured out his secret). The lanterns, too, were, admittedly, captivating. It was just as Jin had said; the lights looked beautiful when the water in the fountain reflected them. 

Right. The water fountain. 

Jin was nice. She had been fun to talk to, and easy to get along with, he supposed, despite the awkwardness. But she wasn't – _No_ , he shook the thought out of his head. He can't do this. He can't let himself think about her. He willed himself to think about anything else — _anything_ — so long as he didn't think of _her_.

Mai.

He shouldn't get that pit in his stomach. His heart shouldn't race like that. He hasn't seen her in three years. She’s bound to have changed, just like he had. But he couldn't help it. Mai was always an enigma to him. She wasn't bubbly and energetic like Ty Lee, or controlling and - and cruel like Azula. Mai was quiet, disinterested. She never joined in on Azula and Ty Lee’s antics, preferring to sit alone away from them and play with her throwing knives. She was good at them, too. Her aim was close to perfection, last time he saw her. He figured her precision _is_ perfect now. He always found watching her practice to be mesmerizing. 

He always found _her_ to be mesmerizing. 

Zuko was drawn to her in a way he never could articulate. Aside from his mother and his uncle, Mai was the only one in his life that didn't act like he was worthless. She never teased him in the malicious way his sister did, she never made fun of him for “being too sensitive” (as his sister always put it), and she never laughed when he messed up a firebending form in front of her. In fact, he’d probably go as far as to say they were _friends,_ as kids. Mai and he talked to each other, played together, shared candies — they even _laughed_ together. She...genuinely seemed to like being around him. 

He never understood why.   
  
He wasn’t like Azula. He wasn’t the prodigy, the talented one, his father’s favorite. He was...just Zuko. He was the failure, the disappointment. He just didn’t understand why Mai would ever like spending time with him, of all people, but he certainly never complained. He liked being around Mai. She was interesting, and funny, and...and she was _real_ — she was _honest_. He never felt like he had to hide himself from her. He liked being her friend.

And then the fountain incident happened. 

Zuko realized he had a crush on her when he was eleven years old, after Azula tricked him into tackling himself and Mai into the water fountain, and he remembers that day like it was yesterday. His heart had drummed in his ear, beating faster than ever. His cheeks were a rosy red, and his breath had hitched. Mai had been too _close._ She’d never been so close to him like that before. Her hair had smelled like cherry blossoms, the skin of her hands had felt soft on his back when he first knocked them over, and Mai had looked _beautiful._ He supposes she always had, but he never let himself notice it before that day. And when it hit him that he liked Mai — as more than just a friend — he felt like an idiot for not noticing sooner. Because why else would his heart skip a beat whenever he heard her name? Why else would he find himself craving her company all the time? Why else would the sight of her bring a smile brighter than the rising sun to his face? It should have been obvious to him he liked her, the way it was evidently obvious to his sister, who didn’t lose a chance to mock him about Mai after the fountain incident. 

He shouldn’t be thinking about this, about Mai. He was banished, and now an enemy of the Fire Nation. He has no idea if he’ll ever even so much as just see her again. He shouldn’t let himself think of her — let himself _hope._ He knows he needs to let her go. That there isn’t a chance for them. Mai deserves better. She deserves someone who is actually _there._ Someone who can make her feel like she owns the skies. Like she can do or be anything. Mai deserves someone who can make her feel the same way _she_ made _him_ feel. But even knowing that, and drilling into his head, he can’t shake thoughts of her away, because even after all these years, he still feels for her. Still likes her — _loves_ her, even. 

And so yes, Jin was a nice girl — pretty, too.

But she wasn’t Mai. 

  
  



End file.
